Saturday, March 04, 2006


Day 17

Today was the sickest fucking day ever. We went to Sydney University in the morning at 9:30 and waited for the bus. We met sooo many people from the Hillsong (surfer) group. 80% of them were Chinese but they were cool Chinese, like Mike Yee. We got to the beautiful Marubra beach and played Frisbee, soccer, cricket, footy, football, and some Swedish game that these two Swedish chicks were explaining everyone. Now the other games were chill but the Swedish game was like a gay game of baseball. People wait in line to swing the bat and there isn’t even a pitcher. They give you the ball, you hit it, and run around the bases trying to get to home. So basically it’s baseball for pussies. Surfing was the best though, it was very hard at first to balance yourself just lying down on the board, but once you got the hang of it and you caught a sick wave, you could ride it for a good 8 seconds before hitting shore, it was sooooo sick. I want to go surfing again so badly.

I couldn’t eat any of the food because it was all meat, so I just drank punch all day. That’s probably why when I got back to the room I felt so fucked up, the sun + no food = fucked up, you don’t need to be a math major to understand that. I’m sure the crooked yellow toothed whore receptionist is working today, because when we got back the internet was down. He’s the only fuck that’s too lazy to go up 8 stairs, reset the router, and go back to his desk without complaining for 3 hours that he has to do it every 4 hours. Fucking pricks. I paid for unlimited internet, UNLIMITED. Here, read: – what do you see on the bottom left? UNLIMITED. There’s no fucking star at the corner that makes you look at the bottom of the page to see: “Unlimited only when the crooked yellow toothed whore half-twit no good ski-instructor receptionist is not around”. I hate this place because of the administration. I can’t wait to move to our final destination tomorrow, Royal Hotel. That’s gonna be sick. I can actually unpack my suitcase. I’ve been living off the same t-shirts for the past 3 weeks, we’ve just been too lazy to pass layer 2 of our luggage so we keep washing the shirts we wear and re-using them. I feel weird, because the whole Hillsong surfer group is Christian and they keep asking us to come to church with them. We still haven’t gotten around to telling them we’re Jewish, just because everything is free right now. I guess on the last day I’ll tell them, “Oh, by the way, my people killed Jesus”. They’re all so nice. I think they’re trying to recruit me and Leor somehow. It’s kind of scaring me. It’s like the Stepford wives except they’re not all perfectly programmed robot whore wives, they’re just decent people. But I’m not a dumbass, I know when people are trying to brainwash me. I’m just taking advantage of the free shit for as long as I can and then I’m gonna lay low as if I was never there. When they see me in the street and are like “Hey Gaby, where have you been?” I’ll be like “Uh…. Do I know you? Have we met before?”. The funny thing about the trip to the beach and the people in this club is that they’re Chinese, Japanese, Malaysian, etc etc, but I classify them into two groups:
1) People who know kung-fu
2) People who don’t know kung-fu.


See, man, what you gotta say to those guys is: "Yeah I killed Jesus. Why? Cuz he wouldnt become a doctor, that's why I killed him!"
gaby I didnt want to be the one to tell you, but i feel that now, you must be informed of the current situation of your h.a. friends., since you left, david has become THE perrenial crescent street man-whore, shlomo has succumbed to a nasty qualude habbit, daniel brook is in a serious relationship and yours truely is coasting through school with an A+ average. what has the world come to??!?!

ps shteegleetz is pimping it up jude law style, but he tells everyone he is international computer tech-geek expert gabriel malca so he can impress the chicks. and men.
Eyal, who said you could use a computer? Get back to that streetcorner and earn me those dollas, beyatch.

Eli, keepin the pimp-hand strong.
Eyal, you don't have an A+ average, and from what I can tell, David is just bored so Avi drags him around (I miss you David), Daniel Brook lives in NY, so who is he in a relationship with? FACTS Eyal! Get us facts!
Tell them we killed Jesus because we were bored ... not much to do in Judea 2000 years ago....

and if they can'T deal with that ... give them the Joe Pesci treatment ... when he Mashes Don Rickles with the phone
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