Monday, February 27, 2006


Day 12

Of all the useless receptionists who never graduated from high school that I’ve ever met, the guy here at Billabong Hotel is the dumbest half-brain yellow crooked toothed math deficient twit I’ve ever met. I’ve been trying to connect to the Internet the entire day and kept getting Limited Connectivity messages and kept going back to the guy to reset the internet and he forgot to inform the entire hotel that he changed the internet password in the morning. So all along people were connecting but couldn’t “really” connect because the password was changed, but no one knew. Finally, the last time I go, he asks me what password I’m currently using and then gives me the “tsk tsk” as if I should have known they change the password every week. Then he gives me some half-assed excuse about people connecting from 2 cities away, give me a fucking break. When’s the last time you could connect to your wireless network at home from Toronto? He then asks me to go to my room and write down my computer name so that he can enter it into the system. Every answer he gave me sounded pre-meditated and he kept looking down as if he was reading it off a sheet of paper. This was the same guy that couldn’t calculate what half our room rate was on the first day since me and Leor had to each pay half. I’m not kidding, I actually had to do it on paper for him and show him that it added up before he charged our credit cards. No doubt he named the hotel Billabong himself, with emphasis on “bong”. I guess the name means you can make money (bills) even when you’re a dumbfuck brain fried drug addict.

The day started with rain in the morning, followed by partly cloudy skies and grilled cheese for breakfast. Then a Chinese guy just randomly unlocks the door to our room and walks in, without even knocking to see if we were changing or anything, and he replaces our towels, almost taking mine in the process. There’s something funny about Sydney, the guys here all look like women, none of them have chest hair. But the women here are very nice to look at, none of them have chest hair. I need a McGill t-shirt, so I can walk around representing my city proudly. I’m still waiting on my custom made t-shirt that says “got malca?” on the front (a play on “got milk?”). We bought everything we need to get the phone setup in the room, the crossover cable, a house phone and a 4 plug power bar. Leors converter died, I think its from that time back in jail (the abbey) when we plugged in the montreal power bar into it and it overloaded, so I have nothing to plug my shaver into, it wont work on these plugs. If I come back with a knee-length beard it’s not my fault. I’m sitting here, waiting for the idiot next door to simply go upstairs and reset the router so that the internet comes back up. So I’m writing this down in Microsoft Word.

Note to all of you that just started reading this blog: when I say “jail”, I’m referring to The Abbey on King, the first hostel we stayed at in our first week in Australia. It may be used in sample sentences such as.
- I’m so glad we’re out of jail.
- Back when we were in jail, …
- I feel like this place is turning back into a jail.

This is Gabriel signing off, reminding you to stay in school, and if not, you might be able to run your own hotel one day, so it’s not that bad if you drop out in the end.

Guys and girls, please write comments (click on the comments link right under), so that we know what you think and that you guys are actually reading :)

dude montreal sucks without you!!!!!!!!!!!
Gabs and Leor, you guys are hilarious. I laugh everytime I read your blog. Everyone in montreal is talking about you guys, EVERYONE. Even my neighbor's dog was talking to me about the half naked guy the other day. And my doctor this morning even asked me how you guys were doing and if you had a better wireless internet signal. He then prescribed me more of my special medication that I had ran out of last week. I'm sure the situation will only get better over there.. but on behalf of everyone - thanks for writing and making us laugh and continue. There's not much entertainment in our igloos...
You'll appreciate this in ten years looking back reading this. Take a pic of the male receptionist so we can have a laugh. :D
Hey Jeff, I think we all know what someone high one weed with bad teeth looks like...we call them "peppers."
Gaby, nice new pictures. You should really ask them where it says you can't be on the internet for as long as you want, the jerks. You should crack the router password and find out a way to mask yourself, it always in the movies! You ordered a Got Malca? shirt to Oz? I'm not in Montreal so I can't do it but put your damn address up so someone can send you a McGill t-shirt. To be fair dinkum you should go throw some prawns on the barbie in the chook during the arvo in a fortnight you bloody wanking poofta! Don't be too flat out to shout a round, and don't get crook doing it. Check this guide to Australian Customs, it's hysterical
A gift so you don't get confused:
What up china plate? VEGGIMITE! Have you had some? Lord knows, it's awesome. Eat some pasta with dead horse, hook up your dog and bone, look both ways before you cross the frog and toad, have some good cheer, don't be a horse's hoof, make it clear you're not a septic, take a snake's. Get some rooting on later with some fanny (it doesn't mean ass anymore). Brekkie (not at Macca's)! BottleO! If Karen becomes Kaz or Kazza, does that make you Gaz or Gazza? A night on the turps! Cut sick at them and fix your cactus internet! If it get's too hot have an icy pole on me. That doesn't sound too good to knob jockey Americans. Don't be a nigel. "no wuckin' furries." I think these are pearler's of Aussie words. I love the ryhming phrases: reg grundies, he bad a fink not too far. I hope your network cable wasn't shonky. Don't be a spanner. You're from woop-woop or the back of Bourke. Have a perv or captain at this website if you don't understand: Emjoy steak and kidney!
Hey Weet,
Love the posts, read them every time they;re updated. Glad to hear that you guys are making the most out of your time (and money) - I'm really hoping that the Royal Hotel isn;t going to screw you over - you're putting so much faith in them...
Make sure that the second you start school you post a sign for anyone who needs roommates. It'll be 100 times cheaper and probably more entertaining. Drop by hillel and make them make themselves useful. They could for sure help you out with roommates, some financial help, or at least some meal at the Chabad house. Definately worth a try.
Life in Israel is pretty awesome,weather is getting better and just started school again after a week's break. Kep bumping into H.A. people, which is always a reason to duck and run...
Love you Gabs, have fun. All the best Leor.
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